Taking a Break

And so it has come to be, where I have arrived at a place in my life where it would be best for me to let go of all the business baggage that has, unforeseen, become an energy drainer, keeping me from doing what I once was able to do effortlessly.

It's curious how this has come to be - so gradually overtime, even unnoticed for the most part, until before I knew it (or was it until I paid attention?), my easy ability to paint passionately, and for myself, without any regard for the business side of it all, is no longer. I've tried scheduling in studio time, painting in the studio I love, but despite this attempt the passion has not reemerged and the arguing with the inner voice continues.

Thus, the following list is the business baggage I am going to take a break from. For by doing so, I will be accepting and embracing the path I am on right now. It is what I want to follow as it is where I will find my ability to tap into the energy of creative expression; to get back to what is in my heart, to the ability to paint for myself, to enjoy the process so much so, I lose all sense of time, myself, and the world around me.

This path is a hiatus if you will, but nothing takes forever  :)
So until next time, take good care - xo


And without further ado, as of September 30, 2013, I am giving myself permission to officially take a break from:

1. Writing and sending out my e-news,
2. posting on my blog,
3. facebook,
4. plus any other social media I haven't done.
5. Applications and calls for art,
6. dates, deadlines,
7. lists of must dos and to dos,
8. not to mention anything & everything else I haven't yet thought of in relation to.
9. What my tax accountant will think of next year when he sees my income for this year,
10. and what other people will think:
1. when they look at my new work, 
2. look at my old work, 
3. when I'm not applying for shows or working towards shows or in shows, 
4. if I'm not painting every day or every other day or every week, 
5. if I'm not marketing or sharing any of my artistic thoughts, inspirations, ideas, progresses with anyone or everyone, through social media or not.
11. Worrying about what's going to happen to the people who are on my mailing lists during this hiatus 
12. and worrying about what to do with all of the artwork I've created.
13. In general, any obligations and expectations that weigh upon my shoulders and fill up my head.

I had an idea and it involved a mock-up

I have found taking the time to do a mock-up certainly helps in the short and long run of things. I tend to, over the course of my day outside of the studio, noodle around my artistic ideas, checking it all out, seeing if what I'm thinking fits and figuring out how to next proceed. If I throw a mock-up into the mix, I can more accurately move into my next step. I'm finding it to be much more time efficient overall, plus it's a way for me to feel like I'm being productive as I have something to show for all of the noodles!  :)

Below shows case in point. I cut samples of different materials (see previous post) and combined them in their desired order, securing them at the top with a brad. Now having done this, I see I need to add another 1/8" to the overall length to give a bit more room for text under the samples. I passed this important tidbit onto my person who will begin formatting the booklet this next week.... Stay tuned!

An awl is on of my favorite tools......

A Bright Day!

The day finally came when the new light system for my home studio was going to be installed. It was so very exciting watching the transformation take place in just a couple of hours!

First, the heavy looking and so-very-not-attractive fan light that I burnt out (I accidentally overheated the system with higher than ideal wattage - I was just trying to get more light!) had to come down.

Next came the assembly of the parts.

The curve of the rail was created next 

(I wanted a very soft organic like "s").

Requiring 4 hands the system was then put into place.

Final tweaks,

additions,

and then, there was light!

I absolutely love the end result. 

All the waiting was definitely well worth it!   :)

I don't know how to paint!

This is a thought I expressed the other day. My husband just shook his head at me in disbelief. But sometimes this is how it feels as I pick up the brush and look at my palette of color, somewhat doubtfully and undecidedly. But as with all thoughts (well, the majority!), I let go of this one, and dove in.

Each of the 4 paintings progressed nicely with the layers I added (see below). And I can see the path/direction that each will take me (well, to some extent. I'm sure there will be detours along the way as I work my way along.). Regardless, the feeling of intent, the idea of knowing what it is I'm going to do next, is quite welcome. I look forward to my next studio day!

So as always, stay tuned. I will keep you posted  :)

12" square, oil on panel (hanging on an old door to dry - thus the black handle on the right)

10" square, oil on panel (this is currently my favorite)

12" square, oil on canvas

8" square, oil on panel

First of the New Year

The beginning, there is always one....

....trying to recall what I learned, but still be in the moment of true expression.... 

....without a care in the world, and yet caring so much for a positive ending....

I finally took the time to paint the other morning. It had been months, but with an art show, a trip to Costa Rica, 2 holidays thrown in (hosting and being hosted), moving out of my NE studio, moving into/rearranging/organizing my home studio, plus life in the midst of it all, the stars and paintbrushes were finally aligned.

 I felt a bit like a fish out of water. Everything from figuring out the location of my palette in my new working space, to trying my new painting medium, to the messy oil painted mess I created (I was quickly covered with oil paint  - it covered paper towels, hands, camera, brushes - and thankfully, yes, canvas). It felt good though, and I was quite excited by having bridged the first painting session of the year.

I started 4 paintings, 3 on cradle board (so different than canvas to paint on! - obviously with no give and such a very smooth surface (unlike my previous wooden canvas of old doors and reclaimed wood)), and 1 on stretched canvas. I photographed as I went trying to find the balance in black and white tones despite painting in color.

There was the obvious pleasure of creating again, but I did walk away with a "what now?!" feeling. Granted more layers are to come for each of the above, but I felt the need for something more... something more like my other oil paintings. I wanted to see the details of a story, I wanted to tell a really good story to you, the viewer. 

I'm curious about this line of an idea..... and am noodling it around regularly....  trying to find the answers to the questions (i.e. how do I incorporate a bit of each style into one painting?) 

Hmmmmm..... so as always, stay tuned!

Closet Transformed

This winter has been one of complete reorganization. Starting with my home studio, moving to the laundry room, the kitchen drawers, my personal closet, nearly all of these catch-alls are showing my touch. I think? the last of these is the large closet downstairs. A major catch-all for everything, I decided it would be better put to use for storing art. 

I brought my idea to my dad who has the talents of combining both scientific mathematical skills with creative ones. He thought it doable and I sent him my specifications (hopefully correct measurements, sitting up above the ground (in case of unwanted water), dividers to keep artwork upright, and carpet to protect frames as they are slid into place). This last weekend he brought the piece over and installed it.

And I have to say it's perfect! I'm quite excited to fill it with all of our mat board, foam core, unframed and framed artwork and photographs. But first, I'm inspired to patch the holes and paint the walls (is that really necessary for a closet?  will the artwork even know/appreciate this extra touch?)... and thus I feel the dishevelment in the outlining rooms will need to wait a bit longer until this inspiration is laid to rest.....

My dad on top of the backside of the cabinet -  he created 2 pieces
(currently face down, side by side)  in order to fit through the closet doorway.

He then screwed the 2 cabinets together in the back so
that the entire unit would be one.

Lifted and pushed back into place, my husband and dad put
the finishing touches also into place. Okay, artwork, here I come!

Concoctions

The below image almost looks like a strange sort of cocktail. I wouldn't recommend drinking it though.  As I measured and mixed together the ingredients for the selected oil painting medium recipe, I almost felt like a scientist or mixologist. I'm curious to see what this is like to work with. I doubled the recipe with the hopes that it is indeed what I'm wanting on all levels of sheen, drying time, viscosity, and cohesion. I guess time will tell (as it does for nearly everything else)..... Stay tuned!

What recipe?

I've been one to follow the recipe verbatim, each step as it is to be - especially when it comes to cooking. And through this process in the kitchen I have, more often than not, been successful in my creations ~ even becoming well-known in my circle of friends and family as an excellent baker.

I don't know if it is the influence of painting abstractly or if something else has shifted inside of me. I just know I am now suddenly more inclined to wing it. I'm finding the addition of a bit of something (not even called for as an optional ingredient) or the skip of a step or the substitution or the doubling of amounts are all much more exciting to do with a dish than before.....

The "why" (is this taking place?) and the "where" (is this coming from?) really doesn't matter. It is the enjoyment of the process + the slight thrill of what this means for the end product (and with really not a even concern there). The self-encouragement along the way - telling myself that it will just work out as it's meant to be and that this is a lot more fun - completes the new near-daily adventure.

(Let it be said: I do have to rein in this creative urge when it comes to baking (with it's exact nature) as there, there is more often than not, a scientific reason than a rhyme as to why you do what the recipe says).

So with all of that taking place in the kitchen, I have also begun experimenting in the studio. I have to say, so far the experimentation has only been in my mind based off of what I have been reading. Researching recipes of oil painting mediums, referring to blogs and websites pertaining to the intricacies of it all and talking with other artists has me writing up (in my mind) and down (on paper) the possible recipes that could work for me.

There appears to be no right or wrong answer. The question of what ratio of each ingredient (mediums and solvents) is dictated by what I want the concoction to do (be shiny or matte, sticky or smooth in application, dry quickly or slowly etc). Now I feel I have come up with 2 slightly different recipes worth trying. I just need to purchase the mediums and then measure and mix it all together.

I'm excited to have reached this step and even more eager to combine my new formulas with paint on canvas. I plan to work on 2 different canvases, one with each medium, so that I can see and feel the similarities and differences. The idea is, by my observations and note-taking, I will be able to fine-tune the ratios, creating for me a perfect combination of the two recipes...... So as always, stay tuned!

Graduation!

October's posts were nearly all about the process of learning how to paint abstractly. I do realize by skipping ahead and sharing the end results below, you will not see each painting's process spelled out (as I haven't (and truthfully am no longer inspired to) continued what I started then, posting each day's experience).....  Perhaps you, yourself, can instead connect what you see below with what was in earlier posts?

So without further ado, please let me introduce my latest body of artistic exploration, oils on canvas: 

Hopscotch

A Seesaw with Inchworm

Dance of the Fireflies

Warthog and the Volcano

String Being

Blossom

I'm looking forward to taking what I learned throughout and continuing on my own for the time being. I definitely am planning on taking her class again for a refresher and/or when I find I'm in need of a bit more of something. As always, stay tuned  :)

Changing up the Studio

It's been a whirlwind this last month - Art Attack, Costa Rica, Thanksgiving and the move of my studio from NE Minneapolis to my home.  The latter event started a couple of months ago when I decided (with the help of the following): 

1. No decision is a permanent one (who knows what the future will bring!),
2.  "A life lived in fear is a life half lived."(one of my favorite quotes), 
3. and deciding what I didn't want in my life anymore (a studio outside of my home (studio)), 

to take the leap out of the commitment of having a studio outside of my home and gave notice. Yes, it was nerve-racking leading up to the decision, and at times I couldn't help but second-guess it all after my verbal notice. But now I'm thrilled with this new direction (and so inspired by it!) and am in the happy midst of consolidating, organizing and going through all that I brought home.

Glorious drawers waiting for attention

Somewhat in place and ready

What's Black and White and can be Read all over?

Give up? It's a black and white photograph of an abstract painting!   :)  (perhaps a poor riddle, I realize!) My instructor said there is a reason why a painting would be reproduced in black and white. It is for the viewer, perhaps a student such as myself, to be able to see the balance and rhythm of it all without being influenced by color used. Of course that made sense!

And as I had my camera on me, I excitedly decided to give it a try. For the first time in this way, I used my camera as a tool. I set the setting to black and white so that when I looked through its lens the colors within a painting were no longer. As a result I found I was no longer influenced by the color I had chosen and found instead a surprising amount of neutral, unexciting, undramatic gray.......

Here are a couple of paintings and what happened along the way in class #6:

I was surprised to see how grey/neutral this was without color!! What I thought was bold and drama really wasn't working, at least not for me..... and so I decided to shake things up a bit......

It didn't take long before I had created some dramatic darks and lights. The grayness was disappearing...... 

This is the end of my work with this piece for today. Definitely a step in the right direction, I think. I'm curious to see it in color (which I imagine sounds strange as you would think I would be noticing the color as I'm actually painting with color and not with black and white. But now I am really able to use color to create depth (in values of gray through my camera's lens) in a very different way than before!)

Here's another:

This is the painting referenced in my post about class #5......

and the magic beings, layer by layer.....

I had no idea the variety of shades of gray I could achieve through the use of color!

And so the fun continues.....

layer by layer, value by value, a push and a pull

by large and small, papa bear, mama bear, and baby.....

inviting the eye to come and stay for (a long) while......

Stay tuned! I look forward to sharing what I learn next  :)

Abstract Painting - Class #5

I walked out of class #5 having been introduced to the idea of creating "drama" and "boldness" with the brush and color. The idea is to have bold drama consistently throughout, to invite the eye and keep it interested. Now, that is the idea, which I found to be much easier said then done.....

The above image is a detail of a larger work in progress - according to my teacher, this shows exactly what is meant by "drama" and "boldness".  The image below is the full painting, which shows what isn't there, what is missing throughout the rest of the piece..... I am now able to see the difference!

Checkmarks, highlights, circles and more

The list of paintings and their newly titled patterns

 I wanted to share the visual process of what I had just completed the other day at exactly 12:00 noon (the timing of it's completion couldn't have been better!).  It was quite a process, but one I enjoyed and found immense satisfaction in. 

The completed list includes 25 oil paintings and 53 different patterns. Some of the patterns stand alone under each painting, while others coordinate with others from the same painting. And I was reintroduced to still others that are a possibility of becoming a new addition to my portfolio down the road.

The end result, not only of the visual portfolio I'll have in hand to show and tell, can also be found on my computer. My organizational skills (thankfully!) showed up for the job and I love how easy it will now be to find what I need. There was a short time ago when this was not the case due to perhaps laziness or the desire to not be at the computer any longer than I need to be or the molehill that had grown into a huge mountain of undertaking! (case-in-point: the green highlighted titles above - the patterns I remember so clearly creating for each where missing in action! I did eventually find them.....)

I also found I have learned a ton about creating these patterns since the beginning and found that some of my earlier original files needed some TLC. All in all, it's all coming together. With this part near completion, updating my website to reflect all 53 possibilities is now on the to-do list  :)  Stay tuned!

A Time for Patterns

 

I decided to finally take the time to pull together all of my patterns that I have created over the years from my original oil paintings. I have a portfolio designed (to be constructed locally in Minneapolis) and materials have been ordered ~ everything is coming together! As I have been figuring out the layout and putting names to each of my patterns, I unexpectedly found/was reminded how much I enjoy the work I have done. It has been fun to revisit the stories in the layers of oil and to see how I interpreted them into pattern.

I can hardly wait to have this tool to share with everyone! As always, stay tuned  :) 

Abstract Painting #4

The layers continued on in my 4th class. Though there is a bit of glare on the following photographs and thus the colors are not clearly represented, I'm excited by the direction of the paintings. I felt like I was loosening up a bit (I approached the painting as I was my garden, out of control, and beautiful in its chaos), and I also liked the thin layers I achieved with the oil - showing the under layers through it all. 

My instructor suggested I cover a larger area of the canvas with a color and not just a bit here and there.... A curious idea - I'm not exactly sure if I can picture this yet.... Though I'll give it a try in my next class. Stay tuned.....  :)

P.S. I have to say, I'm surprised by my opinion of painting on wood. I'm no longer sure it's a fit for me - at least at this time in my life.... Hmmmm......

Pair of wooden panels - abstract oil layer #3

Abstract oil layer #2

Abstract oil layer #3

Abstract oil layer #4

Abstract oil layer #3

Abstract oil layer #4

Opposites Attract -- 3rd Abstract Class

I started my 3rd class with the knowledge I left with the week before. As I was on my way out, my instructor's parting words:

 Dark and light. Cool and warm. Small and large (and even, "mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear"). If you are able to make every layer count with the balance of it all you won't need to play catch up in the following layers. 

Boy, that made such easy sense! I love the visual of opposites attracting and I love the idea that there can be in each and every layer a rhythm that invites the eye. Now I just have to put this easy sense into reality!

So I pulled out my largest canvas ever - well at least for me. Though it didn't take long before it was covered in its first layer of oil.

24" x 30" - abstract oil layer #1

I continued on with the paintings I had shared with you from the week before. I found it challenging trying: to not necessarily be influenced with the layers previously laid down; to have fun and to not take the paint too seriously; and to create the balance desired within it all. I also needed to remember to loosen the hold on my paint brush..... All of which made my head hurt! Maybe I'm thinking too much? Regardless, the following is what I did (though it's hard to see without the previous day's work side by side to know exactly what is different, but feel free to visit my previous posts!)

Abstract oil layer #3

Abstract oil layer #2

Abstract oil layer #3

Abstract oil layer #3

Abstract oil layer #2